My mom is a skilled seamstress. She’s sewn dresses, purses, household items, and more. For a time she had her own sewing business. She has done all the sewing for multiple weddings, including my own. My wedding dress was a work of art!
I, on the other hand, can do basic hand mending and run a simple straight stitch on the machine. Mom tried to teach me when I was in middle school, but I never could bring myself to sit down and really focus on expanding my skills. She never forced the issue.
After about 20 years of feeling guilty, I decided it was time to learn, so I got a machine and some patterns and fabric. I sewed a few things, badly, for about a week. Then I quit. (But I kept all the fabric and sewing “stuff.”)
When my husband’s grandmother passed away she had a lot of fabric from craft making. I thought – great – maybe I can work on some quilts! I accepted the fabric and placed it in my closet, where it lived untouched for years.
Shortly thereafter, I offered to make a machine-quilt for my nephew, and told him it would take about a year. After four years it was still incomplete, not because of the size or complexity of the project, but because I never seemed to have time to work on it. I even tried to hire someone else to do it for me at one point.
Then a year ago, I signed up for a sewing class with my daughter. Come the second class I realized my problem wasn’t a lack of skill – it was a lack of interest. I had only wanted to sew because I thought I should, not because I was actually interested in it.
In fact, that class made me realize – I HATE sewing. With a passion. If I never touch another machine again it will be too soon!
I gave away all my fabric to people who actually enjoy using it. I said, ” I am DONE. No more sewing!” I accepted that my interests and abilities were in other areas and I just let it go.
And you know, once I did, I felt this huge weight lift from my mind. I was free not just from the task of sewing, but from the guilt.
My mom is a seamstress – and it is one way she can add beauty to the world.
But I am not. I am writer.
And suddenly I could use all that energy, now freed from the confining pressure of guilt from self-imposed expectations, to WRITE, which is one way that I can add beauty to the world.
I have more space in my closet, more space in my day, and more space in my mind, because I released myself from an unnecessary obligation and the guilt that went with it. Now I can be more productive with the things that actually matter in my life.
In case you are wondering – I did in fact finish that quilt. Earlier this year. I had already determined never to sew again, but I believe in keeping promises, so I made the time, completed it, and sent it off to my nephew with an apologetic note for the delay.
You know, I think I still have the machine. It’s time for that to go, too.