You asked me recently, “why is it so HARD to have a sister?”
You aren’t alone. Everyone feels this way – even grown-ups.
It’s hard to have a husband or wife or a brother or a sister.
It’s hard to have a neighbor or a coworker or a friend.
That’s because love is hard.
When we love someone, we say their needs are more important than our own wishes. We will give up something that makes us happy, if it means we can bring them happiness. We will stop whatever we are doing, even when it is fun, if it upsets or hurts them.
You see, love is always about what is best for the other person, not what is easiest for us.
Sometimes what is best for the other person is to let them have the best spot on the couch so they can be comfortable.
That makes them happy, and they might say thank you. So even though we don’t really want to give up the seat, it isn’t TOO hard.
But sometimes what is best for the other person is to keep them from hurting themselves or someone else. That means we might have to go get help so we can stop them.
And that makes the other person angry – so it’s VERY hard.
And there are all sorts of in-between situations. But always, love means we are doing something that isn’t easy or natural for us. We are choosing to help someone else instead of making our own lives easier. We are choosing to give up our own happiness for another person.
And you know, a lot of times the person we are treating with love doesn’t seem to care about us at all.
That makes it even more difficult.
You see, it is natural to do something nice for someone if they just did something nice for you. It’s kind of like saying “thank you for being a good person.” So when your sister is loving toward you, it is easy to love her back.
But many other times, the other person isn’t being kind at all. Maybe they haven’t even learned how to love yet. Sometimes our natural selfishness comes out really strongly.
Sisters can definitely be selfish – even you.
But God doesn’t ask us to love people only when they are loving back. He says it is an all-the-time thing. He even gave us the example by loving us first, before we even knew anything about Him or knew how to love Him back.
Yes, it is challenging to love your sister at times – because you want what is easy and comfortable and fun. That’s totally normal. It is hard to love your sister because it is hard to love ANYONE. God never said it would be easy.
But keep being kind to her and asking God to help you love her, and one day it won’t be so hard. One day, you will be able to keep loving her even when she forgets to love you back. And one day, she will find it easier to love you, too – for REAL, not just with words.
So don’t worry. You are already growing into a wonderful, loving person. Just keep going, even when it is hard. And God will keep helping you grow up, so you can love people even more.