Cookies! And the joy of work.

Today my daughters and I made cookies. Sweet, spicy, chewy cookies, with sugar on top.

They were yummy!

Now neither my children nor I have much self-discipline when it comes to sweets. So I decided to at least give them a little fiber and nutrition. I substituted half the white flour with whole wheat.

But that didn’t really make them any healthier. They were still calorie-laden chewy bits of sugar. Like eating little bits of heaven – until we eat too many.

In fact, we tell our children that all the time. “Don’t eat that much candy; it will make you sick.”  “That piece of cake is too big – take half.” And so on.

But it isn’t any easier for us than it is for them.

People have always gravitated toward what is pleasurable, sweet, and easy. 

It’s human nature. 

Desserts have been around longer than we have had written recipes. Entertainment of various types is older than written history. Ancient literature such as the book of Proverbs tells us that even 3000 years ago parents had to teach their children to embrace the joy of work so they wouldn’t sink into self-destructive pleasure seeking.

So sure, nothing new. 

But until this past century, self-indulgent pleasures were expensive and rare. They were treats, to be savored as respites from the stress of life. Only the wealthiest had easy access to such luxuries.

But – we ARE wealthy.

Sweets are cheap. Entertainment is readily available in excess and at relatively low cost. Basically, pleasure-seeking is easy.

As a result, our culture has become all about the instant gratification buzz.  We binge watch four years of television in a month. We order pizza and take-out on a whim, multiple times a week. If we love video games we play them for multiple hours a day. We spend $6 at Starbucks many times a week.

Our lives are about what we want, when we want it.

Instead of enjoying luxeries as a limited treat, we are binging on them like boxes of Girl Scout cookies.

And it’s not just sweets – it’s entertainment.

An excess of entertainment is counterproductive, much like eating too many sweets. It dulls the mind and makes it hard to be motivated to get things done.

I have noticed my children bicker and complain a lot more when their screen time goes up, just like they feel sick after too many desserts.

And that really is the worst part.

We are raising our children in this abundance, often without paying attention to the effect. Despite our best efforts, our children know that if they want something, it’s available, and in excess.

They are growing up in a culture that seeks immediate pleasure without concern for the consequences.

So what do we do?

Sometimes, we try to make entertainment healthier, by making it more educational. That’s not necessarily a bad thing – it’s like adding whole wheat flour to cookies. But it doesn’t mean it is suddenly okay to binge on it, either. 

At least in my home, excessive educational T.V. has the same effect as excessive cartoons.

We certainly don’t have this all figured, though. This has been a particularly unsuccessful week because the summer heat has kept us trapped indoors.

Even so, there are two principles my husband and I agree on which we try, sometimes more effectively than others, to implement with our children

The first principle is to teach them the value and joy of work.

Too often adults speak of work as if it is boring or unpleasant. But work is how we find fulfillment and joy! To produce something of value, to impact other people’s lives, to clean up messes and to serve people’s needs – that is what work is. 

No matter the job, being productive gives us purpose and meets an internal need.

Too often the dinner table is a place to voice the complaints we hold in during the day. But if that is all our children hear about work, it’s no wonder they dread even small tasks around the home!

Our children need to hear that we are proud of what we contribute to the world. (And side note – if we are not, we need to carefully consider whether the problem is the work itself or our own perspective.)

And then we need to give them a chance to help.

Both of my girls were really eager to help at a young age. To an extent they both still are.  But they don’t want to go “do a chore.” They find joy in helping me and their father in our work.

So the best way to teach them the joy of work is to let them work with me – to let them stir the flour for the cookies, and to let them sweep it off the floor afterward.

This is how children continue to enjoy helping, even as they grow older.

The second principle is to remember that children already have a job. 

Imaginative play is their job – it is how they experiment and get to know the world. It is how they figure out how to get along with others. 

If we deprive them of this by giving them hours of screentime just to make things easier for us, we have done them a serious disservice. My children are certainly happier when they have spent time playing instead of on the Kindle.

As I said, this is not something my home has all figured out yet. But these principles do work, whatever strategies you may choose to use to implement them.

Here’s another way to think about it – we know that healthy food starts to taste better once we have deprived ourselves of the sweets for a while. And as a bonus, healthy food makes us feel better, too.

So if we treat entertainment like cookies and emphasize the joy of work instead, our minds and bodies and children will be happier for it.