So apparently, there is this thing called “imposter syndrome.” It’s the name for that feeling you have to cope with when you are on a new job or task and feel totally incapable of performing the job duties. It’s so common that you can find no end of information about it with a simple web search.
I experience this all the time.
I alluded to it recently when I said, “I’m afraid every single day that my boss will suddenly realize that I’m incompetent and he’ll fire me.”
One of my favorite musicians, Beckah Shae, expressed the same feeling recently when she posted on Facebook that she has had to fight feelings like she is inadequate and not valuable.
The irony of this is that both she and I have years of experience and education in our chosen fields and intellectually we know that we are doing the work we are supposed to do.
Knowing we are prepared doesn’t change the feelings, though.
When I get slammed with an overload of work insecurity, I literally argue with myself. My mental conversation goes something like this.
“This is way too hard for me. I should go get an easier job.”
“No – that would totally be giving up.”
“It’s not giving up to recognize your weaknesses and find a better fit.”
“But if you weren’t capable of this, your boss wouldn’t have given you the project.”
“Maybe he’s wrong. Maybe he doesn’t really see my limitations in this area.”
“Or maybe, focusing on your weaknesses like this is just fear. Maybe you should believe your boss knows what he is doing.”
And it goes on like that for what feels like hours. It’s probably only a few minutes at a time, but it can be intense when my instinct to run away and my sense of responsibility war within me.
It happens with this blog, too. Half the time I’m convinced I have nothing worth saying. The other half the time I believe I absolutely must keep going because people who have known me for decades believe I need to be writing and teaching.
In the end, though, I have to learn to cope with imposter syndrome. I cannot let it win, because it is a fear reaction (Seth Godin calls it “the lizard brain”). It is not an objective perception of reality.
I don’t trust my fear reaction to show me the way to improvement – I trust it to show me the way to complacency.
That means I have to learn how to work through this feeling instead of letting it paralyze me.
But how do I cope with imposter syndrome?
Sometimes, someone I respect provides me with words of encouragement.
While relying on someone else’s approval is never a permanent solution to feelings of inadequacy, never underestimate the power of a “you can do it” from someone you respect. It goes a long way.
So, I cultivate relationships with people I respect. And I’m honest with leaders when I’m falling apart. When they encourage me, I remind myself that when those people tell me I am capable of something, they aren’t saying it to flatter me. They are saying it because it is in the best interest of the company to put me into a particular work role.
Even outside of work, encouragement like this helps. Perhaps the people I love aren’t as objective as the cold reality of a business environment, but they do know me well enough to recognize certain skills.
My daughter is a poet.
She’s just a child and struggles with spelling. Her poems have poor structure and aren’t polished. But she can take emotions and put them into a picture and transport you right into her feelings. I can see her skills as a poet, even as I see that her poems aren’t that great yet.
And I believe that if she chooses to, she could hone her poetry skill through intentional practice, and in time she could produce quality work.
So, I remind myself that my encouragers may be just like I am with my daughter. Perhaps they can see the potential that isn’t yet high quality, and I just need to keep going.
In the end, I have to trust my encouragers, whether they are at work or at home, because my fear is completely untrustworthy.
Always, I use the feelings of inadequacy to improve
As I said, my daughter isn’t a great poet yet. She has the potential, but she needs to work on her skills.
Similarly, my imposter syndrome may actually be my brain recognizing that potential does not equal mastery.
When loved ones tell me I can write or sing, they are really saying that I have the potential to be very good – they aren’t saying I am the equal of someone who has spent decades honing their skills and polishing their craft.
Similarly, when my managers give me a project that stretches me, they aren’t saying I have one hundred percent of the skills needed for that role. They are saying that I am capable of learning the skills I need in time to bring the project to completion.
So I have learned to see my panicky feelings of inadequacy as signal fires lighting the way toward the skill I need to master.
If I am afraid, I must need to do that thing MORE, not less.
I had a manager once tell me that he believes all the best quality workers have imposter syndrome. He was explaining that he, too, experiences it and that he thinks those who don’t tend to have an inflated opinion of themselves and do not have the necessary drive to improve.
On the other hand, he pointed out that people with imposter syndrome will work hard to catch up in their areas of weakness and so they quickly grow and outpace the other employees.
You, too, likely have moments when you feel like whatever life is throwing at you is way beyond your ability.
Maybe it is. Or maybe you are more prepared than you think.
You only have two choices, though. Turn tail and run from the challenge that threatens to overwhelm you, or face it head-on.
And if you want to grow, you have to face it.
So get yourself some encouragers. Find people you respect and don’t argue with them when they tell you that you can do it. And then use your feelings of inadequacy to tell you what you need to work on in order to win the fight.