As a little girl, I suffered from severe leg pains and would wake up crying night after night.
My father would massage my legs with Ben-Gay and wrap them in afghans to keep them warm. And he would sit on the edge of my bed gently rubbing my legs till the tears stopped.
The pains got less and less as I got older, and by the time I was in high school, they stopped altogether.
My parents didn’t know why I had those pains. We just called them growing pains, because they seemed to come right before a growth spurt.
My children had their own form of growing pains. Before they learned how to roll over, they cried in frustration and little consoled them. It happened again right before they crawled, and again before they walked and talked.
In fact, all their major milestones have been precipitated by a time of intense frustration.
But growing pains aren’t just for children. We adults continue to have them – that is, IF we are growing.
When I took a new job some years back I had to perform at a higher level than I had ever attempted, and my emotional reaction wasn’t very mature. I cried, I lashed out at others, and I even seriously considered quitting.
Thankfully, I had a boss who knew I was just experiencing growing pains and he coached me through it.
Then one day, everything was easier. While nothing had changed externally, I knew how handle the challenges in front of me (and within me) with more grace and competence.
I had grown, and it was obvious in my work performance and my home life.
A few years later it happened again. Given a different kind of responsibility than I had already mastered, I felt like a failure and seriously doubted I could fulfill my professional responsibilities.
My exhaustion and fatigue were overwhelming and I desperately wanted to jump ship.
Instead, I listened to the advice and encouragement of wise leaders, and I came through it, with a sense of relief and competence. And now I know I can handle more types of responsibilities than I could previously.
Growing isn’t easy. It wasn’t easy for my children and it isn’t easy for adults.
But if my children had allowed frustration to stop them, they never would have learned to walk or talk.
And if I had walked away during my tough spots at work – or relationships – or place of worship, my personal growth would have been stunted.
Sometimes life is hard and it is tempting to find an easier path – or to stop right where we are, where it is easy.
It’s certainly possible. I could find a less challenging job or turn down projects that sound too much for me. I could give up on relationships or volunteer work that require more of me than I want to give.
But then I would stop growing.
Do I really want to call it now? To say that who I am today is “good enough” and no more growth is necessary?
No. I am not ready to say “I’m done.” I want to be more mature tomorrow than I am today.
Growing hurts. It’s hard. Sometimes it makes us wake up in the middle of the night with pains we don’t understand, and we cry.
But we aren’t alone. All around us are elders who have been there, who reach out a helping hand and give a word of encouragement, and who want us to succeed.
And passing a milestone is exhilarating. That’s why children are all grins once they are toddling around everywhere! They know they can do things they never once thought possible.
So I keep striving for more opportunities, more challenges, more relationships, even – especially – when I think they are too hard for me.
Because the growing pains mean I’m not done yet. There is a more mature version of me just around the corner.