I know sometimes you don’t think so, but I am always listening.
I listen because you matter to me.
Hearing is fast – instantaneous. It doesn’t require that I do anything, except maybe take off my headphones. But hearing doesn’t mean I understand you and it doesn’t mean I’m paying attention. Even cats hear us. They just don’t care.
I care. You are precious to me, and I want to understand you. I want to know what makes you feel sad and what brings you joy. I want to help heal your hurts and celebrate your victories.
But in order to do that, I have to listen to you.
And listening is hard.
It means I have to stop thinking about everything else in my life and just think about you and the words you are saying and what you really mean by them.
It means I can’t be thinking about what I say next – I have to be thinking about what you are feeling.
It means I let go of me and remember what really matters is you.
Listening takes time.
It means asking questions to find out what you really mean underneath your words. It means seeing your body language and facial expressions, hearing the tone in your voice, and feeling your emotions.
It means understanding you, as much as I possibly can, so that I can empathize with you. Sometimes listening to your words today includes watching your reactions to things tomorrow.
So I cannot always respond as quickly as you want, because I have to take time to really understand you, but I am listening, and I will respond when the time is right.
Listening changes me
When I listen to you, I feel what you feel and understand your thoughts. I am able to see the reasons, the motivations, behind your choices and opinions.
I may not agree with you, and I may even take the time to teach you a better way, but I become a more kind and generous person, a more thoughtful person, when I listen to you. I might even change my mind and start to agree with you.
Listening makes me love you more.