The grown-up table looks more fun.
We had a big family and at holiday dinners the grown-ups got their own table. For what seemed like forever I had to sit with my younger siblings, but what I really wanted was to join the fun-looking adults.
While I tried not to hear the chatter of my little brothers and sisters, I enviously strained to listen to the adult conversation and understand their laughter.
While I cut my sister’s meat and poured her juice, I really wanted to be drinking Coca-Cola and eating cranberry sauce with my grandmother.
Everything about that table seemed more fun, more interesting, and less messy.
Turns out, the grown-up table is a lot of work.
I don’t remember how old I was when I finally got my wish, but I DO remember that right about that same time I was expected to help with dinner preparation. And then I had to ensure the younger children had all the food and dishes they needed at their table. And then I had to help clean-up afterwards, too.
That was NOT what I had in mind.
I wanted the privileges and recognition and fun, but I did not want to have any more responsibilities.
And even while sitting at the table I still had to work to understand the conversation and the jokes. I still had to practice conversation so that I could participate without getting told to calm down. I still had to learn all year-long so that I could participate in these grown-up dinners more intelligently.
So yes, sitting at the grown-up table was a lot more fun, but it sure was more work than I had anticipated.
Still, the work is worth it.
We know growing up is hard work, but it is also rewarding. We feel more accomplished when we reach milestones and live up to our potential.
When we are at work or our place of worship or volunteer organization and we finally know enough to contribute in a meaningful way, we get that same self-satisfaction a 10 month old does when she walks across the living room without help.
When we are at home and we see projects we have dreamed of for years finally showing measurable progress, we want to show it off to all our friends and family.
And when our significant relationship reaches a milestone, we rightfully celebrate the joy of friendship and the hard work of personal intimacy.
Reaching these milestones will take time, growing-pains, and lots-and-lots of work. We probably will have to prune our goals to an attainable level and we definitely will have to weed out counterproductive activities. But as we reach those milestones, we can rightfully enjoy a sense of satisfaction and joy.
Being respected and accomplished in life requires that we work with others to achieve joint goals, find ways to include and serve those who are “younger” than us, speak with intelligence and consideration of others, continuously learn and grow in our skills, and clean-up our messes.
Basically, it’s just like sitting at the grown-up table.
And I still wanna be there.