Today I hit a brick wall.
When I woke up, just the thought of going to church and being around all the people I love was exhausting.
I’m an every-Sunday-without-fail kind of person. This was not my normal.
But I desperately needed emotional and mental rest, and my body told me so.
So I skipped church. And my husband was kind enough to have our daughters leave me alone most of the day so I didn’t have to do any parenting.
I stayed in bed all day, did some reading, watched a movie, listened to some music by my favorite artist, and took a nap. I spent a couple of hours totally resting, lightly daydreaming but not asleep. I listened to a sermon and reflected on a book I recently read.
And I feel so much better now! My mind is clearer and I have more energy now at the end of the day than I did at the beginning.
This got me thinking about the underrated value of rest in our society.
What we value is… entertainment
Music and movies, television and video games, books and sports and toys. Our culture has no end to the variety of free and cheap entertainment.
But while entertainment is a wonderful privilege and can sometimes be restful, it isn’t always. Sometimes, we can leave entertainment more mentally tired, not less.
Mental and spiritual rest require a break from the sensory noise. The mind needs to be allowed to wander and reflect. Entertainment doesn’t allow that.
We also value experiences
Family vacations to tourist locations or long family reunions can have their moments of rest. But those times are filled with activities and socialization and can sometimes be more wearying than the daily routine.
Experiences are valuable, and some of them can be restful, but not all of them are.
Emotional and physical rest require solitude or quiet conversation, rather than partying or racing from one planned event to another.
But our society devalues true rest.
We all know the importance of nightly sleep as well as the energizing boosts we can get in “power naps”. Yet when we have too much to do, the first thing we do is cut sleep.
Historically human cultures have included a day off every week to rest from daily activities. But when our weekdays get too full, we throw more responsibilities in on our weekends. Now schools even schedule children’s sports on both Saturdays and Sundays.
While fiction reading, a form of escapism, continues to be popular, few of us take even 15 minutes every to quietly read an encouraging book or article and even fewer spend time meditating on the thoughts we just read.
When we are tired from the stresses of dealing with “work people’’ we go on vacation with “family people.”
And while we consider a movie to be a deserved time of rest, we consider lounging on the couch to daydream to be a waste of time.
Basically, our society tries to rest via escapism through entertainment and experiences, but unless chosen and planned with care, such escapism solves nothing. This approach successfully distracts us from our stresses, but it doesn’t actually give us the quiet or the solitude that we need for true rest.
And if we DO schedule a rest time, our constant turning to phones and computers distracts us. It jolts us away from the quiet that we need.
Rest is essential to our ability to survive and even thrive.
And it isn’t just about sleeping.
- Physical rest allows us to withdraw from physical stresses through sleep and reduced activity.
- Emotional rest lets us draw back from the stresses of daily life human interaction and regain our calm and emotional control.
- Spiritual rest gives us an opportunity to refocus our priorities and realign our perceptions with our convictions.
- And mental rest gives our brain the chance to move short-term memories into long term storage and also to creatively solve complex problems.
Without that kind of rest, people become unable to cope with work and home stresses very well. They may also find themselves unable to logically figure out solutions for problems they face.
They might even find themselves compromising their values by making irrational decisions in reaction to life stresses.
Clearly, rest is critical.
So be intentional about building true rest into your daily routine.
Have a planned day of rest.
If you ensure most of one day a week is set aside for quiet, reflection, naps, and solitude, the rest of the week becomes easier to handle.
That is certainly the case in my home. Saturdays are full of home chores and errands, but Sunday is sacred. We attend church on Sunday mornings, which is an important part of our spiritual growth, and then we insist on naps followed by a quiet, uneventful day for the rest of the day.
When we miss our naps and quiet time, Mondays become much harder to handle.
Incorporate rest midday and in the evening
I often work through my lunch break, so I know I’m not alone here. Trying to find a few minutes for mental rest in the middle of the day is challenging. But some studies show that just 20 minutes of time in quiet reflection particularly outside, can be as restful as a nap if we do it daily.
So try to incorporate that habit into your midday lunch.
And we know children need time to “wind down” at the end of the day before they go to bed, but sometimes we forget about doing that ourselves. It only takes 20 minutes of intentional rest for me to fall asleep without difficulty. But if I skip that rest, my mind will whir for an hour or more after I go to bed.
So you need to find a way to incorporate rest at the end of the day so that your physical sleep will be more effective.
Vacations are also important.
But they should be planned to include times of rest instead of being just one activity after another. Quiet moments while camping or fishing, or times dozing in the sun at the beach, and routine sleep schedules are all valuable parts of making vacations actually restful.
Finally, be willing to take unplanned rest when your mind and body tell you it’s time.
I do incorporate rest regularly. But that “brick wall” I hit today was caused by an unusually busy week with more interpersonal interaction than I am used to.
We are preparing to move into a new house so I had meetings with realtors and banks and insurance agents. An old friend passed through town briefly so we changed our routine to be sure we could say hi for a moment. And I took photos with a friend so we could update my website header, which meant I spent Saturday afternoon socializing and taking photos on one of the hottest days of the year.
So even with my normal rest time, I was tired because my routine was disrupted and stressful. I had to take extra Sunday rest in order to recover.
And that is important – much like hydrating after a marathon is important.
So don’t be afraid to take a few unplanned hours when life piles on the extra stress.
But remember – if you fill that rest time with escapism, you won’t gain the energy boost you so desperately want.
Before you turn on a movie or audiobook, pause to include actual rest time.
Quietly reflect on encouraging truths that reinforce your spiritual convictions and calm your spirit. Daydream. Sit in a rocking chair on your porch and smell the afternoon rain. Pet your cat. Watch your fish swim. Sing to your plants.
And sure, enjoy a movie with the kids in there sometime, too. But intentionally find rest. Put it on your schedule and don’t compromise it away or let Netflix or your phone steal it away.
Because true rest is not just an escape from responsibility. It’s a rejuvenation of one’s whole self.
Life is hard and we will get tired. That’s just the way it is. But if we really rest, even for 15 or 20 minutes every day, we can face the tiring stuff with more strength.